


Stop! Memmertime!

by Zalloj



Category: Heartsick - Fandom, Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 10:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19743979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zalloj/pseuds/Zalloj
Summary: Dave and Karkat wake John up at 4 in the morning





	Stop! Memmertime!

Dave: john! john wake up!

John: *rustling under the blankets* wah- the fuck. dave?!

Dave: john get up! you gotta see this!

John: *groggy moaning from being woke up at 4 and rises from his slumber* dude… what the fu-

## Karkat: **WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!!!**

Rose: *Rises from the blankets left of John with a deep yawn* why are people fucking yelling at this hour?

Karkat: ROSE?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN BED WITH JOHN?! WHERES KANAY-

Kanaya: *Rises From Johns Right Side With Dreary Eyes Burning From The Bedroom Light Shining In Her Face* Karkat, Do You Have Any Idea What Time It Is?

KARKAT: **OH MY GOD!** *ABSCONDS THE FUCK OUT*

Dave: well that part of the plan didnt work as well as we thought it would. really wasnt expecting you to be in a post threeway coital event-

John: dave! tell us what you want or get the hell out! we’re trying to sleep here!

Dave: just get out of bed, you gotta see this!

John: dave, it’s 4 a m! can’t it wait?!

Dave: no man, it cant wait, it needs your personal visage in order to get the point across! it wont take more than 5 minutes!

John: ugh, fine! better be some shit like a crisis or something or else i am kicking your ass. said ass beating shall be most thorough!

Dave: dont worry man, you wont regret it and youll be glad i woke you up at 4 am for this! be like christmas morning for the levels of endearment you are about to experien-

Kanaya: **H** OLY **S** HIT **W** OULD **Y** OU **S** HUT **T** HE **F** UCKING **L** IGHTS OFF **A** LREADY?!?!?!  
#Inner Karkat

=====

Moments later, in Rose and Kanaya’s kitchen, where Dave setup his laptop

=====

John: all right what’s this about dave?

Dave: just have a sit

John: this better be worth while for you to risk our bro ship over

Dave: just have a sit right over there

John: if this is a cat video i will break your neck for rousing me from slumber, i had an eventual time last night and it sucked the energy right out of me

Dave: what exactly were you doing last night anyways?

John: your sister and sister-in-law

Dave: yeah… so anyways

John: yes, on to the reason i’m grouchy as opposed to sleeping

Dave: here, prepare to have your mind blown from the thoroughly classic 90s animation nostalgia that was unearthed the other day~

John: pretty sure i can’t have my mind anymore blown than what rose did last night! nor can it possibly suck anymore than what kanaya-

Dave: shut up about fucking my sisters and watch the damn video!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRiutEkmd9U&ytbChannel=reelblack

John: this is what you woke me up for? a meme over my choice of strife specibus?

Dave: yeah… what? dont you like it?!

John: yeah, i like it…

Dave: you dont seem like you like it…

John: because it wasn’t worth waking up at 4 in the fucking morning, dave!

John: i mean i do like it! and i can see the appeal as to why you would want to show it me!

John: but come on man, 4 in the fucking morning?!

Dave: well fucking sorry then! i thought you of all people would get the joke and appreciate the level of hilarity that its basically you!

John: that’s just it dave! i get the joke, and it is very funny! but it wasn’t worth losing all of this sleep over! what the hell possessed you to wake me up over so badly that it couldn’t have waited at like 8 or something?!

Dave: i dunno…

Dave: desire to hang out with my best bro maybe… like for the first time ever since we met in real life…

John: …

John: oh geez, dave i didn’t… im really sorr-

Dave: you know its fine. its just ok. i understand you have been going through a lot. losing your dad messed you up a ton, and attempted suicide from extended periods of isolation was a wake up call for all of us and i should have heeded that. i really should have thought this through better and respected your personal space and sprung it on you when it was a better time.

John: yeah, but dave i think you’re going a lil over board with this, im just complaining about the fact you woke me up for something that could have waited.

Dave: nah, no, i really shouldnt have been so thoughtless, ok? ill just go hang with karkat, you can go back to bed with your pair of sugar honies that are my family members. aight? see yah later when you had your sleep *smoothly absconds*

John: dave no you’re not-

John: god damn it!

John: …

John: fuck, i was hoping id never have to do this.

John: *pulls out a box cake mix and begins manufacturing a buttery moist artifact of apologetic confection*

=====

Minutes Later, A Sleepy Eyed Jade Blood Sees What All The Odd Noises She Can Hear From Her Respite Block Coming From Her Culinary Art Center Is About

=====

Kanaya: Oh Lord Why Does Everything Have To Be So Brightly Lit At This Hour

Kanaya: John… What Are You Doing?

John: making chocolate cake

Kanaya: It Is Four’O’Clock In Morning. Why On Earth Are Making Chocolate Cake?

John: because i couldn’t find chocolate pudding to apologize to dave with, so i’m making due with this instead…

Kanaya: …Whatever… Please Keep The Noise Down, I Have A Meeting With The Brooding Matrons At Nine.

John: sorry, i’m almost done, just gotta bake it and i’m done.

Kanaya: …Right. When You Are Finished I Want You Back Upstairs, Its Not As Comfortable Without You.

John: ok, i’ll be right up, but i think you’ll do just fine without me kan-

Kanaya: Dont You Sass Me Young Man! You Need Your Sleep, Not An Escapade Of Late Night Baking!

John: whoa, holy shit! where’d that come from!?

## Kanaya: **I** T **I** S **F** OUR! **I** N **T** HE **M** ORNING!!


End file.
